Usne kaha tha k 4 bajay Date pe aaongi Faraz!!!!
.
.
.
Magar ye to bataya he nahi k Naya Time,
ya Purana Time.... :-)

Teacher : U failure !
At ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir,
but at ur age hitler commited suicide

ek kash liya accha laga main peeta chala gaya
zindgi gatti rahi main jeeta chala gaya
aarjo thi kisi ki, kam hoti gayi
pata chala to dekha main chita main jalta gaya

If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I'm only a cartoonist!

Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
someone for their MISTAKE.
.
.
.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.

Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,
husband smart banke aya or bola,
“DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU?”
tabhi wife zorse chillayi’
CHAKKAAAA!!!

Agr Abhi abhi eik khubsurat larki ka phone aajaye to tum kya karonge
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aby sochte q ho phile aaye to sahi!

Boy: I am not rich like rohit,
I don't even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..

Aquarium main 2 fishes teir rahi hain.
Ab batao un mai se nur kon aur mada kon?
.
.
.
.
.
Jo teir raha hai wo Nurr..
Jo teir rahi hai wo Mada..!

*Love b4 Marriage*
Janu…tum nahe to mei nahe,
mei nahe to tum nahe…

*Love after Marriage*
“baghairta”…Aj tu nahe ya me nahe

Shadi me munna papa se:papa khana kab khaen ge?
Papa; dear dolha dulhan aayen ge unko ye peson ka lifafa den ge phr khana khaen ge
Munnah: bhaga gaya stage ki janib Doolhe se kehne laga ye lo 1TT rupe 2plate biryani or salaad k pese kaat lo

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work,
Luv makes everything beautiful,
Smile makes all the above... So always Brush ur Teeth

Tera ''SmS'' Na Ane Per Mai Yehi Kah0n Ga "FARAZ"
.
.
.
.
.
Tenu Mobile Kinne Dilaya ''BHOOTNI'' K:-)

Aankhon Me Sharafat,
Chaal Me Nazakat,
Dil Me Sachai,
Cheray Par Safai,

Isi Liye Tou.
.
.
.
.
Har Larki Aap Ko Pyar Se Kehti Hai
“BHAI”

Tamam nekiyan 3 baaton mein jamah kardi gaein hein.
1. Nigah
2. Khamoshi
3. Guftagu.

Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don't exist.

Har khushi me kuch nami reh jayegi,
Ankhen thodi shabnami reh jayegi,

Zindagi ko aap kitna hi sawariye,
Bin Hamare koi na koi kami to reh jayegi..

Teacher: KG class ke bachhe se,
1 se 10 tak gino, me aapko KISS karungi…
BACCHA: 1 SE 100 tak ginu to kya package hai..

Maalik: Abi tk tujh se machar nhi maray? mere kano me gunguna rahy han.

Nokar:Sahab mene Machar Maar dye hyn, ye to unki Biwiya hn Jo Vidwa ho k Ro rhi hn..!

Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether
Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday.
Have a Great Sunday...

Aj Newspaper me parha k doston ko SmS krny sy dil ki bemari ho skti hy.

To phir aj sy BAND

SmS?

Ary nhe Baba!

NEWSPAPER.

Agar raat ko koi Aapke kamre me Aaye,
Tumhare Badan ko chume,
Gaalo ko kiss kare,
toh Romantic maat bano,
.
.
.
.
“MOSPEL” lagao MACHHAR BHAGAO…

Manager:Tum To Buhat Kam Parhay Huay Ho.
Boy:Janab 10 SaAL Larkio0n K Peechay PARA.
5 saAL Bhang p K kABHI Idhr Para tO Kabhi Udhr pAra,

Or Kitna Paro0n?

A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie,
Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me...
But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart,
Now I m in 50/50 position...

Sardar: Meri shadi hogye.
Khan: Biwi kesi hai.

Sardar: Bhut khubsurat.
Khan: Shadi pr kharcha kitna aya?

Sardar: 1 lakh.
Khan: 500 ziyada le le. Biwi mujhe de dey.

U are a BITCH

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious

r u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*

If You fall in love send words, I'll come

If I m alive or If I'm not, I'll come through Your tears,
through Your feelings
and
through Your dreams ...

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place, Jail.

A teacher teaching ALJEBRA: If x=y & y=z then
it means x=z.

Give an exmple.

STUDENT:
Sir,
i Love u & u love ur daughter,
it means i love ur daughter...!

Santa apni biwi k office gaya
to usne dekha k uski biwi
boss ki godi me baithi dictation le rahi thi.

Santa:- Chal LAajo, aisi jagah kaam nahi karna
jahan staff k liye kursi bhi na ho.

Sardar Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy

Sardar Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro ;)

Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?

Student: "Father in law".

Aik larka aur aik larki..
Na wo Miyan Biwi
Na wo Behen Bhai..
Larki ki Susar Larkay k Susar ka Baap hai..

To Larki aur Larkay ka kia rishta howa??
Answer: Mumani aur Bhanja

UNIVERSAL TRUTH :
When girls wear tight fittings,
Neither they are
Comfortable

Nor
Boys are comfortable…. !!

V lIvE iN DrEaMs bUt DrEaMs mAy dIe
d0nT gEt sHaTtErEd & nVr eVr CrY
Da w0rLd Is bIg & hAs LoTs t0 gIvE
PiCk a nEw DrEaM n stArt t0 lIvE!

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof.
They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

Allama Iqbal or KESC mai 1 cheez same hai
woh kya hai?
Socho?
or
Socho
Nahi pata?
Dono ka 1 he Kaam hy,
K Soi Hui Qaum ko jaga do.

In our life time
6 things can come at any time:
1.love
2.friendship
3.money
4.death
5.illness
-
-
-
6.susu: isliye karke sona .

Jahaz tofan me ghir gya
CAPTAN : ksiko tofan sa bach nklna ki dua ati ha?

A man raisd hand
CAPT said: OK ap dua pr gzara krn hmary pas 1 life jackt km hy ;->

Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have


Girlfriends

Shadi k Baad Aashiqi Bikhri Hai Is Qader Faraz..


Chota Sa Ik Flat Tha Buchon Se Bhr Gaya....

What was GOD’s First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho…

Dont know..
Oh! shit jal gaya!!

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

May tHe sUn sHiNe, aLL dAy lOnG
EvErYtHiNg gO rIgHt, & nOtHiNg WrOnG
May ThOsE U lOvE BrInG lOvE BaCk tO U
&
May aLL tHe wIsHes U wIsH CoMe TrUe

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society.
What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Baaz log kehte hain hoshiyar mard ache shohr sabit hotehen.

Ajeeb ehmaqana c baat hy,
Hoshiyar mard bhla shadi shuda hi kab hotay hain..!!!

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Keecharr main laat marne se apne he Kapday kharab hotay hain FARAZ!!!

Ye baat sun kar HUM ne Kapray utaar kar apni laat
Keecharr me de mari...!

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u'll always be SMILING!

What is confidence?
10 boys decided to propose a girl.
9 boys came with Roses,
1 boy came with,

MOLVI
This is confidence.

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed hisexamination?

A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

FACT 1: U CANNOT TOUCH ALL UR TETH WITH UR TONGUE.
FACT 2: AFTER READING THIS SMS 99 OUT OF 100 IDIOT WOULD TRY IT.

(A BOY TO GOD)
BOY: Bhagwan ji kya shadi se pehle kisi ladki ke sath sona paap hai?
God :Bilkul nahi lekin saale tum loog sote kaha ho...."

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

An englishman, bihari & punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.

Maalik:Abi tk tujh se machar nhi maray? mere kano me gunguna rahy han.

Nokar:Sahab mene Machar Maar dye hyn, ye to unki Biwiya hn Jo Vidwa ho k Ro rhi hn..!

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society.
What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.

Manager:Tum To Buhat Kam Parhay Huay Ho.
Boy:Janab 10 SaAL Larkio0n K Peechay PARA.
5 saAL Bhang p K kABHI Idhr Para tO Kabhi Udhr pAra,

Or Kitna Paro0n?

Dabbay main dabba dabay main khargosh,
Uncle nay aankh mari aunty bay-hosh… ;) :D :D

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

If You fall in love send words, I'll come
If I m alive or If I'm not, I'll come through Your tears,
through Your feelings
and
through Your dreams ...

Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I ever loved'
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.

Sardar Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia
Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Krdo K Police Smje Porana Ghr Hy

Sardar Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro ;)

Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card,
it says,”To the only boy I ever loved!”

Gal: Great! I want 10 of them

Hope this year has been filled with joy, happiness and love.
Lets take this moment to thank God for letting us to see this year.

I wish in 2009
god gives you....
12 months of happiness
52 weeks of fun,
365 days success,
8760 hours good health,
52600 minutes good luck,
3153600 secomds of joy.... and that's all

Who Wants 2 B A
£MILLIONAIRE£
Let's play?
Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a:
A.Cunt B.Wanka
B.Rsole D.Twat

50/50
Phone a friend?
RING ME! I'LL TELL U!

V lIvE iN DrEaMs bUt DrEaMs mAy dIe
d0nT gEt sHaTtErEd & nVr eVr CrY
Da w0rLd Is bIg & hAs LoTs t0 gIvE
PiCk a nEw DrEaM n stArt t0 lIvE!

Lagaan by Rajnikant
Climax scene:1 ball 20 runs needed.
Bowler bowls,Rajni hits.ball splits in 4 pieces.
All pieces go for 6's. India wins!
Yenna Rascala.
MIND IT.

How will a rat purpose a cat…??
?
..??
?
“Billo Rani Kaho Tou Abhi Jaan De Doon..
O Billo Rani..!!;-)

Q: What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed hisexamination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything."

ahaz tofan me ghir gya
CAPTAN : ksiko tofan sa bach nklna ki dua ati ha?
A man raisd hand
CAPT said: OK ap dua pr gzara krn hmary pas 1 life jackt km hy ;->

Wooo Bwoo bwoo wooo gooo CONGRAGULATIONS..
U HAVE SUCCESFULLY LEARNT TO DOG LANUGUAGE..
PLEASE COLLECT YOUR BISUCUIT

when sum1 touches u &
u don’t feel it,
its IGNORANCE.
When sum1 touches u&u feel it, its LOVE.
but when nobody touches
u but u feel it, then its KHUJLI;-)

Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived.
The judge called for orderly testimony. "I'll hear the oldest first," he decreed.
The case was closed for lack of evidence.

Keep.....................IN TOUCH WID ME.....
OTHERWISE............................1 2 3 4 5 6
7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31 32 ALL..........UR TEETH WILL B BROKEN!!!

Ek machchhar marne se,
koi shikari nahi ho jata.
Do char MESSAGE karne se,
koi bhikhari nahi ho jata...
...So keep messaging

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time.
Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon......

Positive-thinking poem:

Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye
U don’t worry u don’t cry,
U just thank God that,
Cows do not fly

Always b positive